Simply Sad

I was preparing a special post for this 25th.
It should have been optimistic and colourful.
Yet some days (and especially nights) are just more painful than the others.
And I just had to get this pseudo-emo-stream of consciousness out of my head instead.
Sorry.

Still haunted by the shadows of those years
By tricky promises and places never seen
By copper rings and childish dreams and tears
By their false hopes and my not being mean

I’m capable of forgiveness
(for all the bad things, whether they seemed good)
But forget I cannot
(at least the good things, whether they seemed bad)
And understanding – more or less-
(to all those lapses and quickly changing moods)
does not help a lot
(when more than alive my soul is feeling dead)

Not being able to be friends with past
How can I trust love on the present day?
Fear of the future falls will last
Until I for my sins have paid…