Finis coronat opus

Three pages in an hour.
Dream of any translator paid for the number of pages done.
Fatal speed.
Still not quick enough.
If I don't make it at least five pages in an hour, there's no chance for me to remain in the status of student.
If I make it five pages in an hour, I will be dead by tomorrow.

Couldn't sleep last night. Was crying because of some messages received and sent and because of my being frightened and having no soothing hand to reach and no one to tell me :"Fear not, it will be fine." But the main question that was haunting me was "Why am I unable to finish anything?"
Who would believe me that there are more than twelve "almost-finished" essays in my computer, if I do not finish at least one of them?

Yesterday my parents were watching a document about architecture in Prague. Two of the main architectonic miracles and often visited sights had both the same story - both were built ALMOST to the end by one architect, but at the last moment he was withdrawn from the project and sent elsewhere to work on something else. Both buildings had been waiting unfinished for more than three hundred years, until another architect came and finished them in a completely different style. And still they are considered beautiful.
Why can't someone come at the moment when I simply run out of ideas and tell me:"Good job, Juliet, now, go and begin writing something else, we will finish this for you, better than you can even imagine"? Perhaps my teachers' patience won't last for centuries.

But then... one of those essays I am working at is about a man, who "never finished anything" - Citizen Kane and his creator, Orson Welles. And still is Citizen Kane a pearl of cinematography and Orson Welles is considered a genius. Can't someone appreciate just the bits of my work I have already produced? I would bet I have spent more days with these books and essays than any of my classmates who are now swimming in the sea somewhere...

So what is my problem? Am I just a bloody perfectionist or am I incapable of self-discipline? What is that that I fear most? Beginning lots of things I can hardly ever bring to some conclusion? And am I still speaking about school here?